Where do I end and another begin? This is a question that came about for me as we were exploring boundaries in our training as fellow-therapists training to upgrade our own competencies. Each of us fellow-humans are explorers. What we explore depends on what we have as a 'flash-in-the-pan' moment in our cognition that piques us enough to go exploring further in our curiosity. Well, the above question has had me come home to what has me exist, or rather how do I know I exist? How do I know what I feel like without having to touch me? What I see is different from what another sees, so is there a boundary between what I see and another sees? What does it mean to see things through another's eyes? How do I know that it is 'anothers' eye that I see through? Similarly, how do I know which is something that I feel and which I know is actually another's feeling that I am picking up on with my sensory perceptibility. How do I know which is my thought and which another's? How do I know that I am not rote'ing anothers thought? How do I know what is original without having to verify with anything? How do I know which is mine and which is another's? Just as a material object is recognized (re-cognized) and thus I-dentified with my-ness (as in dent the object with my-ness so that that object becomes 'I'dentified!, Identity is basically values/traits/qualities/words that I stamp/dent with my-ness so that becomes my I-dentity!) do I know which is my feeling and which I empath of another? It is an ongoing inquiry, of course, but I sometimes have a sense of when I am encroached (as in encroachment of personal property) and that has me understand what does violating personal rights mean and know what is person-al and therefore where do I end and another begin.

Seek before you speak.

Words gain meaning in accordance with context. If the meaning as intended by the speaker/writer is not grasped first and if quickly concluded the meaning before understanding the context, lesser and lesser understood is the message in what is spoken/written. Sometimes grasping the context leads to understanding the thread of thought. Yet, it is the words that give the specifics. It is a bit like zooming into the geography of a place using Google satellite view where you get the location of a house (context) but the brass doorknocker and particulars of the person opening the door are specifics not immediately available, and specifics give details that change a lot the meaning and message conveyed. (Maybe that person opening the door was a terrorist that was being attempted to be watched via the satellite. Did the story of the whole zooming-in change now? It is probably the nuances and details around the specific words that is not immediately available in just the over-view/context that changed the story).

Under-standing the context and the nuances in the meaning of the word(s) is required before the word or context opens up the world that each come from. Under-standing (as in standing under) a word or context is much like standing in front of a door waiting for it to open. The door may lead to a tiny little room or a full garden/forest or it may be the rabbit hole that led Alice to Wonderland too easy to miss by over-standing (as in standing over) a word or context. The word could be something as dangerous as a little bomb or just a lump of clay but you miss the point by underestimating it, by over-standing it. Meaning, underestimating (over-standing) what a word or context may be would lead to completely missing the point or losing out on a jolly good Alice in Wonderland world of discoveries, or the next big thing on the planet should you have paid attention to that word or context that would trigger that idea in your head that would change everything :). Afterall, where else do we understand something than in our own heads of something that is happening outside our heads. Under-standing is a bit like meditating on the word/idea/concept - a bit like placing that word or idea or context on an imaginary table in our mind and sitting in front of it curiously waiting for it to speak or do something, maybe even regard you back, and tell you in some way about itself. It is much like meeting a new person, ay? We are likely to take a second look at a 'stranger' (as in 'strange' or different-from-what-I-am-used-to-seeing person) but not someone who looks just like oh-so-many-people-seen with maybe very little brush-aside'able difference, unless of course the person shows or does something unexpected! What if the person doesn't do something unexpected. Does that mean the person is not different just because we can't see the difference? Presuming the meaning of that oh!-so-familiar word has us lose out on the world that that word comes from uttered/written by that person.

Under-stand before over-stand. The word or context then becomes a step on which to step and get to the next step on your journey.

(Hey! I am learning too, so don't judge me if you find me on the road happily over-standing. These words are soo much Alice-in-Wonderland rabbit holes - too easy to miss thinking it is just another word!

They say 'you teach/preach what you most want to learn' and this is one of the things I am working on - under-standing - and I am somewhere between the thinking and habiting stage of the, you know, "watch your thoughts they become words, watch your words they become actions, watch your actions they become habits, watch your habits they become character, watch your character it becomes destiny" saying of some wise folks. So, here I am wording my thinking as I learn to action and habit it. Happy learning, fellow-traveller! (You know, "life is like a train journey and we are all fellow-travellers" bit? :)

There is a lil one inside of us, actually several lil ones if a person is constantly engaged in doing unfamiliar or new activities - a new lil one is born in our psyche in the process of doing the new activity who finds ways to maneuver through the new activity/inquiry, and each of these new ones, just like children we see around us, grow in their own time depending on how much the activity has been continued to be engaged in and the child grows up to be a fully grown adult adept at that activity. That is how we unconsciously become more skilled if we continuously spend time engaged in an activity of interest, and over time our 'expertise' in these activities join up with our existing expertise and form interesting combinations of skills hitherto far unthinkable, and that is how we become cameleonic (who says that is only a bad trait?!) and able to adapt with changing challenges - the ability, of course, depending on what you have spent time in developing routinely.

​​Inner child?! How do we know there is an 'inner child' within? Butterflies in the stomach, anxiety of any kind that is either always there or comes about at different points of time during the day or at specific instances of experience through life, overwhelm of any kind about anything, 'I don't know what to do' panic, pure innocent glee about anything, 'I feel like I want a cuddle,' 'I wish I had someone to rely on or hold onto,' curiosity (that is a pure lil one trait; people die or get old if curiosity is not a part of their constitution!) - if you have any of these above symptoms, you have a lil one inside you that definitely needs and deserves to be taken care of. Actually, you should be concerned if you don't have one or more of these symptoms because these symptoms are a great sign that you are alive and are playing the game of life. If you don't have any of these above-said symptoms, you should definitely do an unfamiliar activity or take up an activity that you have never done before (updated on 3-June-17: Maybe learn a new language or learn a musical instrument or try growing a plant in a pot or learn to cook or try rock-climbing!), and you can be sure to get back into the zone of living (as against merely surviving) with at least some of the zing/excitement of living back, and the zeal of living is soon on its heel (I bet on this)...and what's more, your side of the lawn would get greener again (I bet on this one too!).
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The idea is not mine originally. It is the idea of Pamela Levin who takes special interest in Transactional Analysis and published the idea of Cycles of Development. The following images are excerpts from her work as interpreted by other psychotherapists.​

Life is movement. Where there is no movement, there is a compromise in the quality of life. This is observable in several aspects of everyday life. When there is stagnation of money, material comfort and expansion gets compromised. When there is no physical movement, health gets compromised due to lack of movement. The body is designed to move. There is movement in the body all the time - the heart beats (and God help if it stops!), respiration is rhythmic and relatively constant depending on rate of activity but always present and moving. Blood is constantly moving through the arteries, capillaries and veins. If there is stagnation, there are problems. Bones and muscles are designed to aid in movement. They would calcify or sclerose or atrophy if there is no movement.

Life tends to balance, harmonize and evolve given the right environment and adequate resources. If there is compromise in the space, safety and resources, there is compromise in the natural tendency of life to move towards better balance, harmony and evolution, and there would consequently be compromise in the quality of life. Period.

Breath is expansion and contraction, which is basically movement. Muscles contract and relax, which is basically what the breath does. The breath supports movement and movement supports breath. What breathes is alive. So, move and breathe well to live well.

I am a body of water. I became a human being from having moved through evolution from a unicellular organism in the primitive ocean of early Earth to my current land-based existence in various conditions of solid earth. Far from the water bodies sometimes, I always come to and need some form of water to sustain, because each of the cells in my body are almost 70% water and needs periodic replenishment to continue to be alive. I am, hence, still much like the original unicellular organism; just hardened on the outside. Even though my human form has come to be from having evolved through several other life forms, I was born to a mother at a point in time, and my birth at this point in time is new - a fresh "piece" of consciousness - a droplet of Consciousness born into the ocean of consciousness.

​My waters get muddied from being through several experiences of living. Pleasant experiences render a flavor to my waters and so does unpleasant experiences. When faced with challenges, I engage with all the resources I have to get through the challenge I face, and become better than what I was previously or get precipitated with more particles "muddying" my waters some more.

​My waters clarify when I get in touch with my original waters, my tissues re-membering its content quality reminiscent of the droplet of Consciousness that I am as I was conceived fresh, untainted by the reality of current circumstances. As I remember more, I remember the original primordial waters of Consciousness from which came forth all that there is. In the lightness of my waters from having remembered my original waters, the residues and particles precipitated from my various experiences of living can just be and in time would settle to the bottom of my water body in the waters still from the remembrance, which in time would get transmutated or recycled into the material with which All That There Is is made, and I can breathe my breath of life and be born again.

Flow, stuccato, chaotic, lyrical and stillness; the 5-rhythm dance as expounded by Gabrielle Roth is a gentle, self-exploratory but most importantly a way to be and become by the explorer's own efforts through dance, and anybody can dance. If you dont think you can dance, then the 5-rhythm exploration through movement is just the way to begin. Do watch until the end before beginning practice :-)

It is getting back to be ones original self. Not just getting back on feet, on some feet and carrying on however though that is also resilience in being able to get up and go. It may come to be that eventually one would get back to ones original feet but the real juice is in being able to do that soon after )being knocked out of it by whatsoever circumstances, for example), in a flash of a second if you may.

What is original self? It is who one is really. It is the person within all the different personas and identities assumed, which are much like clothes worn for the day. In the end of the day, those clothes are taken off to don more comfortable not-really-to-impress clothes, and even within all of these clothes is the real naked person who does not change skin at will whenever, who experiences life through the different circumstances and situations and who has a history (more like 'his' or 'her' story which comprises of his/her ancestry, cultural background, upbringing and circumstances thereof, influences through schools and neighbourhood, whose likes and dislikes have been shaped through various experiences of living). Within even that person is a self which is like the soul of the person who makes choices, who has the ability to change 'channels' by choosing differently (like changing a TV channel by clicking a different button on the remote control, and that change is a change of choice), who has an energy or frequency all of the person's own. It is when the thoughts are not borrowed or a replica of someone else's. It is original. What comes into being from this original self may never have come into existence before. This self is authentic, second to no one else. It is the first person after which comes even parents who are the first relatives after birth with the mother being the first relationship from having a heartbeat the first time in the womb. The self of a person is related to this woman by the relationship named mother. The self of a person is a consciousness who then forms relationships in this space and time called this world. True resilience is in being and coming back to this original self in a flash of a second. It is when the person truly becomes an in-dividual, the original self as an entity of existence - a phenomenon.